Black Friday

Tom Pennington / Getty Images

I have a problem with Black Friday!  Please don’t misunderstand me… I don’t have a problem with YOU if you shop on Black Friday… but I do have a problem with the whole concept.  I understand that there are great sales… and one year I actually even got up at o dark thirty to be at a store by 5am with my son. (As it turned out… to be in line in time to actually buy anything we needed to be there at least two hours before we were… which was already an hour before the 5am store opening.)  But the more I contemplate the lure of the ads for Friday’s deals the more put off I am.

Why are we as shopper’s pitted against each other this way?  Why is there this artificial scarcity scenario set up by the retailers?  And more importantly why on earth do we as consumers fall for it?  We live in a country that is abundant.  Even in Detroit, where many people are out of work or fearing the future because of the automotive industry’s woes… when you look at the global picture we are much better off than most of the world!  So how is it that we are presented with this notion that we need to hurry and get the items we need or they’ll be gone?   And why are these sales held at ridiculous hours, demanding extreme measures from consumers to obtain the best deal?

The whole system just seems backwards to me…  are these retailers doing me a favor?   After all I am the customer, with out me there is no business, right?  What ever happened to “the customer is always right” or “the customer is king”?   Then there is the matter of the materialistic nature of this tradition… don’t get me started on that!  I mean… is a 32″ flat screen television going to solve my problems?  Is it something I really need? Will it bring me some kind of intrinsic fulfillment?  No, no and a resounding no!  I may get such a television in the future, but to get up in the middle of the night and go wait in line to “beat” others out of  getting one of the the “few” tv’s seems silly, selfish and misdirected.   And if I get the television… that’s what it is a television… not some product that will bring me happiness!  Happiness is something that comes from inside.   Does  anyone else see my point… or is it just me?

The whole thing seems kind of wacky to me!  Why is there this manufactured shortage and this false sense of urgency?  That alone is such a negative mindset!  One that is foreign to the way I choose to experience the world!  In my world I already have everything that I need…. and as I have real needs that arise the needs are met, sometimes in the most interesting and synchronistic ways… which is half the fun of the adventure of life!

This is also not to say that abundance is bad or that “things” are bad.  But I do want to point out that in our society it is not uncommon at all for people to look outside of themselves for answers that can only be found internally.  There is a whole industry  built on convincing  us that product X will deliver what we “need”.  That if we want to have the perfect life and be happy, beautiful and smart  we can just have some plastic surgery… or shop on Rodeo Drive… or use a special credit card…    To be popular and have fun, we can drink Pepsi or Budweiser, etc.   It’s a powerful industry because many people actually believe these things on some level.  It’s such silliness!

In reality to feel good about oneself  one can do internal “work” to learn to be grounded and genuine.  One can figure out what matters to them and build their lives on that solid reality, designing a life that works, instead of trying to buy one!   I will be posting more in the future about living a simple and authentic life.  If you also  are tired of this “rat race” and no longer “falling for” the false messages that the media sends us regarding an easy path to fulfillment stay tuned!

Why do you do what you do?

That was the the meeting stimulus at the Network Partners BNI group I subbed at this morning.  It was fun and thought provoking.  During the 45 second “commercials”  that’s what we addressed and one thing was obvious… we are a group of passionate people… even in the cases where the passion was “for the money.”

For me the topic could launch me into a much bigger conversation.  I know that’s true for many of us.   When I sub in the Tuesday morning group I represent the Reiki Master part of my business, since my very dear friend, Kathy Igoe, is a member of the group as a Life Coach already.   It is always a fun morning for me because it is a great group of friends and business professionals and I maintain a relaxed attitude.

I mean really… how many groups have a Reiki Master?  … not one of the top categories that’s for sure!  My tag line is even fun:  “I give a free aura fluff with every session”  as such I have low expectations for referrals… I consider every morning I’m accepted as a professional a success!    The amazing thing is:  I do get business!

Well this morning’s question, threw me a bit in the moment and sparked an internal processing that lead to this post.  I do what I do because I just wanted to help my daughter with fibromyalgia pain.  She suffered with pain in her early 20’s and was very frustrated with the medical community’s response to her complaints.  The “It’s all in your head!” responses she garnered didn’t sit well with her, and certainly didn’t do anything for her pain.

I was told that Reiki would help her and I was told that I could do Reiki and coaching professionally.  Now at the time I was an account executive selling advertising.  I had been doing that for many years and had made some serious money doing so.  I didn’t even know what coaching and Reiki were.  My world existed in the “what have you done for me today” realm of sales… cut throat advertising sales!

This Reiki thing sounded pretty “airy fairy” to me, but the fact that it might help my daughter lead me to be open to trying it.  I went and spent several hundred dollars on attunements.  And I argued with myself… alot!  The conversations would go something like this:

This is stupid, what a waste…

but I have to try.

He said it would work… it’s the only thing that will work.  It seems to make her feel better.

But sometimes she is so frustrated… I send at a distance then and how do I know it’s working?…

Well, she’s not taking vicodin all the time any more…

I never wanted to be different… a healer.  People will think I’m weird… I’ll think I’m weird… it will change my life…  I’m afraid!

But she’s getting better, so can I complain?

And I couldn’t complain… she was getting better.  She got pregnant… I pointed out to her that fibro goes into remission with pregnancy… she pointed out to me that it was already in remission… otherwise she’d have never been able to get pregnant… she was pain free and she said it was because of the work I was doing on her! Wow!  Really?!

I had been hesitant to tell others about my attunements… but I finally told a couple of people.  They didn’t think I was weird.  I told a couple more people.  They had heard of Reiki before.  They thought it was great!  They wanted to experience Reiki… and that was the beginning of my Reiki practice.  One of those people was a coach… of all things… that original Reiki Master guy told me I could be /was going to be a Reiki Master and Coach.  Interesting!  What was that exactly?

Here I am today… a Reiki Master who studies and practices Qigong… the cultivation of energy.  I have Reiki clients (both “hands on” and “distance clients) who love the energy I channel and benefit from my practice.  I even have students who I have attuned to go out into the world and heal!  And I am a Coach U grad, in the advanced training and working towards accreditation through the ICF and a member of The Professional Coaches Association of Michigan.

Yes Reiki has changed my life!  I have a richer and more meaningful life!  I have brought pain relief and healing to countless individuals and worked with hospice patients to relieve suffering, calm anxiety and smooth their final transition.  I now know my purpose in life is that of a healer.  As a Reiki Master and a Spiritual Counselor/Life Coach I work with clients to enrich their lives and assist them in connecting with meaning and Source in their everyday lives.  I mentor them in the joys of living simply and in Spirit.  This is why I exist!

But then that’s a lot to pack into 45 seconds! 

All that and... I still give a free aura fluff with every session!  (Yes even via distance sessions!)  Have your aura fluffed and feel the difference today!

Communication is vital to peace and well being

Today something profoundly disturbing hit home for me. In my coaching class this morning we discovered, quite by accident, this was not part of the lesson plan, that even among those of us on the “same page”, words can have very different meanings. The word in question this morning was “struggle.” To one of my colleagues in class the word conveyed the normal growth process and was not bad. She sited the struggle a butterfly goes through to break out of his cocoon. To our instructor, struggle represented a very violent unnecessary action. We learn in coaching that everyone sees the world from their own perspective. Even in a coaching class, with professionals all trained in the same discipline, nuances interfere with communication and understanding. I thought to myself… no wonder we have wars! Look at the potential for misunderstanding!

The misunderstanding in class of course was not critical. No disaster would ensue as a result; no war would break out. But it happens. I thought of all the broken relationships in the world, all the families torn apart, all the lives destroyed because of misunderstandings and a rush to judgment.

On the flip side… what about war? Could war be avoided if people would just talk and listen? If people would take time to communicate? We all have a common ground of being. If we can stop seeing the world as “us vs. them” and realize that mothers in Iraq and Afghanistan, and Ireland, and Canada and USA, and so on… all want what’s best for their children. If we could realize that ultimately we have more in common then not… perhaps we could find a way to listen and really hear each other. We could have peace!

The pain of miscommunication is real. The life lost as a result could be someone you love.

That made me think about 9/11 and the ensuing war(s). I did some quick research and found that on Sept. 3, 2006 the war casualties surpassed the 9/11 casualties… it is now June 18th, 2008 and U.S. casualties as of 6/16/08 are reckoned to be 4101. That’s some 1127 souls more than the life lost on 9/11. That’s only American lives.

The countries we attacked in retaliation have been shown to NOT have weapons of mass destruction. The terrorists were not representatives of a country. Yes, the terror they created was horrible and devastating. But how much more devastating is it that we the USA went in and took innocent lives of people that had nothing to do with the terrorism. The Iraqi deaths due to the US invasion are estimated to be 1,225,898. More than a million souls lost… many innocent people… their only “crime” to be born on the wrong side of the planet. These numbers came from this source. These lives weigh heavily on me now and on our country.

It is my policy to promote things – not protest them. So while you won’t see me at an “anti”war rally or “anti” anything… let it be said that today I grasped how communication, listening and understanding promote peace… and hey, I’m all for peace!

“If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” ~~Mahatma Gandhi

Most Recent Visit to NYC

It was a great trip to NYC! This time we went to the top of the Empire State building, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, visited Strawberry Fields in Central Park, and Spent the Night at the Museum (not really…but we visited the museum in the movie!) We ate at the Rockefeller Center and at Fine and Shapiro’s Deli.

Paula Kirsch is a Life Coach & Reiki Master. An ardent student of Qigong and meditation, Paula is passionate about utilizing both energy work and coaching to serve  her clients.  As a result they find physical and emotional healing, relieve stress and move towards spiritual enlightenment. Visit her website http://www.PaulaKirsch.com

<!– –>

Travels… oh the places you will go!

One of my favorite books is Michael Crichton’s Travels. It’s an odd book, not one of his fiction best sellers, but rather an autobiographical account of his extraordinary life and experiences. I know that the reason I like it so much is that I’ve always wanted to have experiences like his. Mystical experiences, exotic experiences, experiences that are special and that happen to special people.

For a long time it never occurred to me that I could have such experiences too. About the third time I read his book, after reading all the Carlos Castenada, Jose Silva and various other spiritual books that I could get my hands on– one line in his book jumped out at me and seemed to speak to me … to dare me. He said something to the effect of “How long can you have an interest in something and keep it at an arms length, with out doing anything to explore it?”

How long indeed? So I started looking at how I could further explore… and I found a Silva Mind Control Course in my area. I went. It was “real”, I decided. I could go to alpha… and I could manifest… a parking spot! Amazing! Fun to play around with. I didn’t do anything else (seminar-wise) for a long time… but I knew I could always get a free seat in the class for a retake. I never did.

Until… five years later. Now that’s a long time. I had experienced more, read more, and I knew it was real already… I wanted more! I had been very happy in my career for a long time…now things were changing. It was 2003 and I was looking for some answers and felt that I might find some at the seminar. Now the retake cost me an extra $50…still not bad, considering the price of seminars.

I went not even sure what I was looking for specifically. I found it! There was a man at the seminar, I don’t even know his name. He looked like Joe Vitale, at least that’s how I remember him. (I’m not even sure now he was a man… he might have been an angel.) We talked about my daughter. She was in the process of being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. He told me to use the Silva to heal her. He also told me he was a Reiki Master and that I should find a Reiki Master and become attuned to heal her. We also talked about my job. He told me that I could be a Reiki Master and a Coach for a living.

I did go get attuned to Reiki after that seminar. It did heal my daughter. I thought about the career move he suggested, but I thought massage school would be more practical (not really understanding this coaching thing). I looked into the massage school and planned on going, then my plans fell through. It was okay though, because I didn’t really want to be a massage therapist. But I really hated my job. It was brutal and kept getting worse every time I tried to move into a better position.

I was in advertising sales… and had always been so good at it… I just didn’t understand how things could go so wrong, when I was such a good sales person. Finally I left my last corporate position. I had just won a 42″ plasma television, now proudly displayed in my family room, (so obviously I was doing something right, eh?) but the management was never satisfied. I knew that I needed to get out of there… the job was killing me… and I used to actually say that several times a day! I called a friend who was in a position to hire me as an independent contractor. The timing was good she needed some one for a deserted project and I, happily, stepped in. I am still happily contracting in that position, ever so grateful to have such a positive environment to work in!

Then some really strange coincidences happened. As I was planning my husband’s surprise 50th birthday party, one of the women he works with sent me an invitation to a coaching workshop/ Arbonne party joint venture. I went. The coach made such a strong impression on me I ended up hosting the same event in my home for my friends. I followed up a few weeks later with that coach. I wanted to explore the possibility of getting coaching. It was possible! ; )

It’s a year later. I’ve launched a Reiki healing business, joined BNI and I am now attending Coach U, pursuing a coaching certification. Remember what the Reiki Master at the Silva Seminar told me in 2003? I can’t help but wonder how my life would be different if I would have listened to the Universe the first time! But I know that all things happen in their own good time. The wonderful people that have come into my life and the experiences that I have gone through have brought me to where I am today. And that’s exactly where I am supposed to be.

Welcome to Coach U…

“Welcome to the Core Essentials Program!

We are excited that you’ve chosen to enter the Core Essentials program and to become part of the worldwide coaching community.”

Words that have changed my life… I am now enrolled in Coach U and happily following my dream. I have finally begun (begun because it is an ongoing process) to realize that I can do what I want and (more importantly) be what I want and the Universe will support me! I have gotten that message loud an clear this week form the Universe and I’m ready to cry “Uncle!” already from some very serendipitous events! Even as I realize this though I start thinking about what kind of coach I “should” be and then I realize that I don’t have to be any kind of coach other than who I am!

The good news is that I’ve signed up for classes and I’m raring to go! This is a long delayed and detoured journey that I am finally allowing myself to take! My coaching question from this is… What do you love that you are not allowing yourself to be or do? What are you passionate about? What do you do with that passion? Mine was stuffed away in a box! I am now taking it out, putting it on display, and walking into my right livelihood!

Right Where I Want to Be

I’m back from my journeys to NYC and Chicago. NYC was for fun… a trip to see my budding Broadway hopeful, David. Michelle and I had a great time on Good Morning America (as part of the studio audience) and roaming the streets and subways of NYC.

Chicago was business. A Coaching workshop by New Ventures West: Coaching to Excellence, was a very worthwhile experience! I am so fortunate to be where I am right now in life! I will be enrolling in Coach U shortly and I am looking forward to every minute of my training and beyond.

I suddenly find myself with a great support system and wonderful friends and business associates! Life is good! This is a far cry from where I was just over a year ago and I owe much of the difference to my experience of being coached! I look forward to making such a difference in someone else’s life!

Great book to read: Coaching into Greatness, by Kim George

I will be reviewing this book in the near future, stay tuned … or if you’ve read it let me know what you think!

To Hell and Back…

On January 2nd a good friend of mine fell in an ice covered parking lot. He was working for a rental car company (he is a driver for them) and apparently no one knew he had fallen. He was on the cold ice covered ground – alone. He couldn’t stand up so he was crawling. I don’t know how long he was out there… how long he was slipping and sliding and crawling on the frigid, ice covered ground before a lady was driving through the parking lot, saw him, and stopped to help.

He was shook up. The family doctor checked him and said he broke a rib… and refused to “get involved” with workers comp and the forms and phone calls.

My friend is 73 and an asthmatic. He has been on Prednisone for 25 years. With a cracked rib and having been chilled to the bone laying on the cold ground he was sure to come down with bronchitis. He did. Predictable. Winters are hard on him under the best of circumstances and these clearly were not the best of circumstances.

His doctor instructed him “You know the drill, raise the Prednisone to 40mg., then go to 30, then 20.”… eventually dropping back down to the 5 mg maintenance level that he is on for the rest of his life. And he still wasn’t “getting involved” with the Workman’s comp paperwork.

My friend is an anxious type. He worries. A lot. He worries about bills, about having enough money to do the things he and his wife want to do, he worries about his family and friends. We worry about his health.

When he upped the Prednisone something went wrong. We will probably never know what exactly happened. At some point he became confused. We don’t know if he took his Prednisone twice or if he became confused and just started taking more and more… or if he reacted badly to the 40mg. We just don’t know. But in the early morning on Friday January 11 his wife called the ambulance and then called us. He was agitated and not responsive to her questions. He was in a state of steroid psychosis.

And so the fun begins… after two weeks time in the hospital he was transferred to a rehab facility. It wasn’t until he was there doing physical therapy that his confusion significantly cleared…giving evidence for anyone who doubts the mind/body connection!

The moral of the story is beware of prescription drugs. Just because they are “prescription” doesn’t mean they are “safe.” More and more public awareness is rising on this point with the recent passing of Heath Ledger and many other stars and celebrities.

Serenity

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. –Reinhold Niebuhr Accepting that “what is” just “is“… and that it is neither good nor bad but just “is” is often the hardest thing to do. There are things beyond our control, so it does us no good to fret and worry over those things. Right action involves knowing what can be changed and doing it, while leaving what can not be changed alone.

Tips for Hospital Visits

Unfortunately I have been able to practice this skill recently because a family member  is in the hospital.  From my observations of his experience and from my own experiences in the past I have come up with some pointers that I hope will be helpful to those who are visiting loved ones in a hospital setting.

1 .   Do not tire out the patient.  Your visit tells them you care.  If they are post surgical they are weak respect their time and don’t overstay.

2.  If the patient is sleeping, in a coma, or any kind of altered state DO NOT say negative things… no comments about how bad someone looks, or how they aren’t doing well, and no business or financial concerns.  THEY CAN HEAR YOU!  They are trying to heal.   DO NOT burden them with negativity!

3.  If you have a large family and / or lots of visitors ask for a private room.  You will be happier and so will the poor patient that could have been subjected to your visiting marathons. (see number 1.)

If you can’t get a private room please do not have visiting marathons with 10+ people in a small room, discussing the lack of ventilation, while your  children  are swinging from the privacy curtains and peeking at the person next door. — You laugh!… I’ve been the person next door and it’s really irritating!

4.  DO call your Rabbi, Priest, Reiki Master, Spiritual Counselor etc.  – their visit is not only good for the patient, but also good for you.  Do not be shy about asking for support for both the patient and the family.  That’s what we are here for!

5.  DO take care of yourself!  If you feel that someone needs to be with the patient as much as possible try to schedule people at different times of the day if possible.  That is less overwhelming for the patient and enables every one to get some rest and be as fresh as possible.  Being in a hospital 24/7 is stressful and the patient may sense your stress on some level.  Try to be as “fresh” and positive as possible.