Today something profoundly disturbing hit home for me. In my coaching class this morning we discovered, quite by accident, this was not part of the lesson plan, that even among those of us on the “same page”, words can have very different meanings. The word in question this morning was “struggle.” To one of my colleagues in class the word conveyed the normal growth process and was not bad. She sited the struggle a butterfly goes through to break out of his cocoon. To our instructor, struggle represented a very violent unnecessary action. We learn in coaching that everyone sees the world from their own perspective. Even in a coaching class, with professionals all trained in the same discipline, nuances interfere with communication and understanding. I thought to myself… no wonder we have wars! Look at the potential for misunderstanding!
The misunderstanding in class of course was not critical. No disaster would ensue as a result; no war would break out. But it happens. I thought of all the broken relationships in the world, all the families torn apart, all the lives destroyed because of misunderstandings and a rush to judgment.
On the flip side… what about war? Could war be avoided if people would just talk and listen? If people would take time to communicate? We all have a common ground of being. If we can stop seeing the world as “us vs. them” and realize that mothers in Iraq and Afghanistan, and Ireland, and Canada and USA, and so on… all want what’s best for their children. If we could realize that ultimately we have more in common then not… perhaps we could find a way to listen and really hear each other. We could have peace!
The pain of miscommunication is real. The life lost as a result could be someone you love.
That made me think about 9/11 and the ensuing war(s). I did some quick research and found that on Sept. 3, 2006 the war casualties surpassed the 9/11 casualties… it is now June 18th, 2008 and U.S. casualties as of 6/16/08 are reckoned to be 4101. That’s some 1127 souls more than the life lost on 9/11. That’s only American lives.
The countries we attacked in retaliation have been shown to NOT have weapons of mass destruction. The terrorists were not representatives of a country. Yes, the terror they created was horrible and devastating. But how much more devastating is it that we the USA went in and took innocent lives of people that had nothing to do with the terrorism. The Iraqi deaths due to the US invasion are estimated to be 1,225,898. More than a million souls lost… many innocent people… their only “crime” to be born on the wrong side of the planet. These numbers came from this source. These lives weigh heavily on me now and on our country.
It is my policy to promote things – not protest them. So while you won’t see me at an “anti”war rally or “anti” anything… let it be said that today I grasped how communication, listening and understanding promote peace… and hey, I’m all for peace!
“If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” ~~Mahatma Gandhi
