How Starbucks Saved My Life…

This is the title of a delightful little book by Michael Gates Gill, that literally jumped into my arms like a frisky puppy as I was holiday shopping at Borders Bookstore the week after Thanksgiving.  It is no secret that I love Starbucks, even now that I no longer drink coffee, having discovered that I have a food sensitivity to it.  Somehow I am stilled pulled to their stores.  I can always find something to drink or eat there; I love the stores’ ambiance and I’m drawn to the company’s integrity.

How, I thought, could Starbucks save someone’s life… but not once did I doubt that it was possible!  Starbucks is a great employer and a force for fair trade in the marketplace.  My son worked for them in Metro Detroit when he was in high school and again when he first moved to NYC.   I vaguely remember him saying working in the NYC Starbucks was nothing like working in the Detroit stores.  Having read Gill’s book I now understand what my son was unable to convey to me at the time.

Furthermore, coming from a 20 year career in the advertising industry myself, I identified with Gill.  I could feel his pain.   I too remember feeling old in an industry that worships youth.  He spins a delightful and charming story… an inspiring story of difficult changes and personal growth.  He may be one  of Starbucks best marketing tools for their PR department!

Even more so he shares an important message with us…  happiness is found by living life without pretense.  The key then to Gill’s “saved life” is merely set within the backdrop of Starbucks.  When we live honestly and authentically, owning our failures without blaming others and living within our means,  peace of mind and happiness are a natural byproduct.

Working at Starbucks is optional, although obviously not a bad place to be.  Working with a Life Coach would certainly be of value to someone on such a journey or someone interested in living authentically!  Working with a Life Coach can help one discover and develop their essence, their life force, their personal chi.  Gill reminds us that it is not the destination but life’s journey itself that is the reward!

Practicing Qigong Gives New Appreciation for the Seasons

I don’t like the winter.   Or at least I didn’t.  I’ve never liked the cold weather and it seems like it’s dark all the time here in Michigan between the shorter days and the overcast and cloudy skies.  Gloomy winter days used to be all I associated with winter.

Qigong has changed that for me.  I’ve been practicing Qigong since May of 2008.  It has changed my outlook, my life, and dare I say – my karma.   I still don’t like winter weather… but I must say that I have more appreciation for nature and enjoy being outside even on cold days now.

I actually love the winter months now… I associate them with very deep and intense meditations.  I’ve learned that in the winter there is an energetic pull inwards.  This results in deep inner work and meditative states that are easier than usual to achieve.

I discovered this last winter and remember that in the spring when I noticed a difference in the “feel” of my meditations I really missed the depth.  Now that I realize that it is seasonal I will thoroughly enjoy the winter energy while it lasts!  The next couple of weeks are especially good!

This week is great with solstice around the corner and the yin new moon in a couple of days the inward pull of the energy will be the strongest of the year.  I plan to meditate and revel in it both in my regular Qigong practice and my sitting and standing meditations as well.  It is a very special time of year energetically!

I think it is no coincidence that this time is observed with holidays in so many religious (and pagan) traditions!  Whatever your tradition… have a happy holiday season!

Defy Gravity with Caroline Myss

The great thing about being a healer is having great clients that the Universe speaks through!  Really!  It was last summer that one of my dear Reiki clients told me that she didn’t know why but she felt compelled to tell me to read some Caroline Myss.   Great, I thought!  Another book to add to the pile by my night stand!  Don’t get me wrong, I love reading and I’m a voracious reader… but with all my coaching classes and my involvement in the coaching community sometimes I feel like I have too much of a good thing!  If I have to read one more book, no matter how good it is,  I think to myself, I’ll scream!

Well enough of my complaining… so I did nothing when my dear client shared this message with me… and then several weeks later the newest book by Caroline Myss landed in my mailbox, with a request from the folks at Hay House to review it!   And then in November I had the pleasure to hear Caroline talk about this wonderful book in a live online event!

The book is Defy Gravity:   Healing Beyond the Bounds of Reason and it is a book that belongs on every healer’s, coach’s and therapist’s bookshelf.

Myss shines a light on the fact that healing is a mystical experience but as a society we are not comfortable with mystical experiences… we utilize reason… after all we are  “reasonable people”  and we become “driven” in our spiritual pursuits as we are in our material lives.  We’ve merged the east/west philosophies and utilize pop psychology, yoga, vegetarianism, ecology, nutrition, self awareness as the path of becoming a conscious person, but we back away from the sacred… from devotion… from intimacy with God.

We attempt to reason our way to enlightenment… when in reality grace is the only path to enlightenment and to healing.  Rather than being driven to “get stuff” we are called to give.  It is the ego and fear that get in the way of our realization that life itself is reverence, “stuff” is not.  Grace allows us to connect on the most human and the most divine level…  but only when reason and ego can be pushed aside to allow that connection.  It is in  a space of grace that healing can take place.

This is where we go in both coaching and healing.  In a powerful coaching session egos are left at the door a safe space, a sacred space is created .  It is okay to be vulnerable  and the energy, the spirit, can be felt when one is operating in a state of grace.   Myss delves into the shadow side of the graces as well and aligns both the graces and their shadows with the chakra system.  True healing takes place in grace,  otherwise our base shadow side becomes entangled, and the outcome tainted.

Ultimately it’s the unreasonable path, or the path beyond reason,  that we as healers, coaches and therapists must go to serve our clients.  That is where the grace resides that provides a space for true healing to take place.  It is through mysticism, devotion and intimacy with God and dare I say worship of God and the keeping of the sacred, that healing takes place.

Black Friday

Tom Pennington / Getty Images

I have a problem with Black Friday!  Please don’t misunderstand me… I don’t have a problem with YOU if you shop on Black Friday… but I do have a problem with the whole concept.  I understand that there are great sales… and one year I actually even got up at o dark thirty to be at a store by 5am with my son. (As it turned out… to be in line in time to actually buy anything we needed to be there at least two hours before we were… which was already an hour before the 5am store opening.)  But the more I contemplate the lure of the ads for Friday’s deals the more put off I am.

Why are we as shopper’s pitted against each other this way?  Why is there this artificial scarcity scenario set up by the retailers?  And more importantly why on earth do we as consumers fall for it?  We live in a country that is abundant.  Even in Detroit, where many people are out of work or fearing the future because of the automotive industry’s woes… when you look at the global picture we are much better off than most of the world!  So how is it that we are presented with this notion that we need to hurry and get the items we need or they’ll be gone?   And why are these sales held at ridiculous hours, demanding extreme measures from consumers to obtain the best deal?

The whole system just seems backwards to me…  are these retailers doing me a favor?   After all I am the customer, with out me there is no business, right?  What ever happened to “the customer is always right” or “the customer is king”?   Then there is the matter of the materialistic nature of this tradition… don’t get me started on that!  I mean… is a 32″ flat screen television going to solve my problems?  Is it something I really need? Will it bring me some kind of intrinsic fulfillment?  No, no and a resounding no!  I may get such a television in the future, but to get up in the middle of the night and go wait in line to “beat” others out of  getting one of the the “few” tv’s seems silly, selfish and misdirected.   And if I get the television… that’s what it is a television… not some product that will bring me happiness!  Happiness is something that comes from inside.   Does  anyone else see my point… or is it just me?

The whole thing seems kind of wacky to me!  Why is there this manufactured shortage and this false sense of urgency?  That alone is such a negative mindset!  One that is foreign to the way I choose to experience the world!  In my world I already have everything that I need…. and as I have real needs that arise the needs are met, sometimes in the most interesting and synchronistic ways… which is half the fun of the adventure of life!

This is also not to say that abundance is bad or that “things” are bad.  But I do want to point out that in our society it is not uncommon at all for people to look outside of themselves for answers that can only be found internally.  There is a whole industry  built on convincing  us that product X will deliver what we “need”.  That if we want to have the perfect life and be happy, beautiful and smart  we can just have some plastic surgery… or shop on Rodeo Drive… or use a special credit card…    To be popular and have fun, we can drink Pepsi or Budweiser, etc.   It’s a powerful industry because many people actually believe these things on some level.  It’s such silliness!

In reality to feel good about oneself  one can do internal “work” to learn to be grounded and genuine.  One can figure out what matters to them and build their lives on that solid reality, designing a life that works, instead of trying to buy one!   I will be posting more in the future about living a simple and authentic life.  If you also  are tired of this “rat race” and no longer “falling for” the false messages that the media sends us regarding an easy path to fulfillment stay tuned!

Why do you do what you do?

That was the the meeting stimulus at the Network Partners BNI group I subbed at this morning.  It was fun and thought provoking.  During the 45 second “commercials”  that’s what we addressed and one thing was obvious… we are a group of passionate people… even in the cases where the passion was “for the money.”

For me the topic could launch me into a much bigger conversation.  I know that’s true for many of us.   When I sub in the Tuesday morning group I represent the Reiki Master part of my business, since my very dear friend, Kathy Igoe, is a member of the group as a Life Coach already.   It is always a fun morning for me because it is a great group of friends and business professionals and I maintain a relaxed attitude.

I mean really… how many groups have a Reiki Master?  … not one of the top categories that’s for sure!  My tag line is even fun:  “I give a free aura fluff with every session”  as such I have low expectations for referrals… I consider every morning I’m accepted as a professional a success!    The amazing thing is:  I do get business!

Well this morning’s question, threw me a bit in the moment and sparked an internal processing that lead to this post.  I do what I do because I just wanted to help my daughter with fibromyalgia pain.  She suffered with pain in her early 20’s and was very frustrated with the medical community’s response to her complaints.  The “It’s all in your head!” responses she garnered didn’t sit well with her, and certainly didn’t do anything for her pain.

I was told that Reiki would help her and I was told that I could do Reiki and coaching professionally.  Now at the time I was an account executive selling advertising.  I had been doing that for many years and had made some serious money doing so.  I didn’t even know what coaching and Reiki were.  My world existed in the “what have you done for me today” realm of sales… cut throat advertising sales!

This Reiki thing sounded pretty “airy fairy” to me, but the fact that it might help my daughter lead me to be open to trying it.  I went and spent several hundred dollars on attunements.  And I argued with myself… alot!  The conversations would go something like this:

This is stupid, what a waste…

but I have to try.

He said it would work… it’s the only thing that will work.  It seems to make her feel better.

But sometimes she is so frustrated… I send at a distance then and how do I know it’s working?…

Well, she’s not taking vicodin all the time any more…

I never wanted to be different… a healer.  People will think I’m weird… I’ll think I’m weird… it will change my life…  I’m afraid!

But she’s getting better, so can I complain?

And I couldn’t complain… she was getting better.  She got pregnant… I pointed out to her that fibro goes into remission with pregnancy… she pointed out to me that it was already in remission… otherwise she’d have never been able to get pregnant… she was pain free and she said it was because of the work I was doing on her! Wow!  Really?!

I had been hesitant to tell others about my attunements… but I finally told a couple of people.  They didn’t think I was weird.  I told a couple more people.  They had heard of Reiki before.  They thought it was great!  They wanted to experience Reiki… and that was the beginning of my Reiki practice.  One of those people was a coach… of all things… that original Reiki Master guy told me I could be /was going to be a Reiki Master and Coach.  Interesting!  What was that exactly?

Here I am today… a Reiki Master who studies and practices Qigong… the cultivation of energy.  I have Reiki clients (both “hands on” and “distance clients) who love the energy I channel and benefit from my practice.  I even have students who I have attuned to go out into the world and heal!  And I am a Coach U grad, in the advanced training and working towards accreditation through the ICF and a member of The Professional Coaches Association of Michigan.

Yes Reiki has changed my life!  I have a richer and more meaningful life!  I have brought pain relief and healing to countless individuals and worked with hospice patients to relieve suffering, calm anxiety and smooth their final transition.  I now know my purpose in life is that of a healer.  As a Reiki Master and a Spiritual Counselor/Life Coach I work with clients to enrich their lives and assist them in connecting with meaning and Source in their everyday lives.  I mentor them in the joys of living simply and in Spirit.  This is why I exist!

But then that’s a lot to pack into 45 seconds! 

All that and... I still give a free aura fluff with every session!  (Yes even via distance sessions!)  Have your aura fluffed and feel the difference today!

“Warning: This is not a recognized Park Trail

Well I guess that says it all…  another day at the park and another metaphor for life.  Sometimes we take an alternate route in life… it’s not always a recognized trail!  However I’m here to say that it’s okay to take an alternate route, the road less traveled.   Some of us march to the beat of a different drummer and that’s okay too.  Sometimes these people are called eccentric,  but at least they’re  interesting…  They are often the ones doing something to make a difference in the world.  You may not see the world the way they do or I do.  But I’ve learned that we really do need to take time to stop and be present.  We need space in our lives.  Sometimes less is more. By being present in life one can experience more life.  Life is enriched!  Things are seen that would normally be missed.  Often the “busyness” and “stuff” in life are used to avoid really living, really feeling.   By opting to live life at a slower more humane pace the essence of life is enriched and treasured.  People are valued for who they are, not what they do. 

“Simplify” is the mantra that calls me.  I have jumped off the earn and spend treadmill.  One more thing is not the answer!  One more thing is not going to fulfill me.  I choose to live consciously and deliberately and with integrity.   In my world people matter more than things.

This is a healing and gentle way of living.  There are many distractions to sidetrack us:  material things, social activities, food or substances to name a few.  It takes some effort and practice to live simply,and the reward is great.  Ultimately learning to “be” who you are and accept who you are if the key to true happiness and fulfillment. 

Lost In The Woods!

Sunday was a beautiful day for hiking so I set out for the park, craving to hear the leaves crunch under my Nikes.   I have hiked many times on the trails there now. I am feeling more confident of knowing my way around.

Sunday I was brave enough to disregard the “Warning:  This is not a official trail” sign.  After all my friend and I have hiked that path so many times I know exactly where I’m going.   When I reached the tree that we circle and turn back at (near the high point of the park) I decided I wanted to go further.  And I did… I walked far enough to see that the woods backed up to homes in a subdivision.   Feeling at peace in the woods and pleased with my adventure I wandered around a few minutes.

I turned around to go back down the trail to the main path.  The trail was not apparent; all I saw were trees.  I have to admit that I was slightly amused with my situation, thinking now I know why Hansel and Gretel left a trail of breadcrumbs!  So I wandered around for what seemed like a long time, amazed at how the trail could just disappear!  I remembered the scout rule: when lost go to high ground so I did… right after discovering that the apparent path was really a mucky “riverbed.”

By then fleeting  thoughts of search and rescue coming to find me after sundown had come to mind.  At the same time I was at peace and actually enjoying my adventure… I could after all hear a group of noisy children coming from the direction of the trail, so I knew  I couldn’t be too far of track!  I did finally come to the main trail, never finding the “unauthorized ” foot trail I had entered the woods on.

I thought of my adventure as a metaphor for life… how clear everything can seem going into a situation, only to find one’s self feeling lost and alone with no sign of the path that was so apparent in the beginning.   At one point during my confused wandering in the woods I sought Divine guidance and promptly found my way… and I again thought of that in terms of a metaphor for life.  When we are feeling lost it is an illusion… we can reach out to a Higher power for direction, Allness, the Universe, God what ever label you like… there is something greater than ourselves which protects us and keeps us firmly tethered to the planet.  All we need to do is remember that we can reach out and claim our help when we need it.

Everything I Need to Know

As I was teaching Nursery School the other day this wisdom from Robert Fulghum came to mind.  I couldn’t wait to look it up and see if he really had it right!   He did!  I leave my nursery school class feeling that what our 2 year olds are learning would benefit the world at large.

How did so many adults  not learn or forget these basic lessons?   If you think this is fine for preschool children  but doesn’t apply in the “real world” then I invite you to explore where you learned how to be in the world and examine if your life is working for you.   If you find you are someone who would like to explore a saner, kinder and gentler way of living  you might want to print and post this blog post.  If you would like additional support in creating a more balanced life send me an email at paula@paulakirsch.com and receive “20 tips for living a balanced life” FREE!

Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life.

Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup — they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: look.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.

The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.

Think what a better world it would be if we all — the whole world — had cookies and milk about 3 o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap.

Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

~ Robert Fulghum ~

Stretch Yourself!

Think you’re a failure or afraid you’ll become one? I am giving you permission to be gentle with yourself. I am giving you permission to fail at something today.

Many of us have learned to be task masters with ourselves. Fear of failure is rampant in our results oriented society. The cost of that fear can be found in the opportunities lost because someone was afraid of trying their best at something new and unfamiliar.

So go ahead, today try one thing that you would normally avoid. It’s okay if it doesn’t work out. When something doesn’t work out we judge it to be bad… but it’s not bad, there is a lesson to be learned.

Today I am attempting to “sit” with my life as it is; wherever I am in it. I invite you to join me in this practice. I am learning to accept where I am in life without judging it to be good or bad… it just is.

We have a purpose, a mission in life and when we follow where that leads us we will be where we need to be and doing what we need to do, learning the lessons we need to learn. So free yourself to sing your song as only you can sing it! Don’t die with your music inside, unsung because you were afraid to fail.

If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived! Life = Risk

This post was inspired by an amazing short video found here

What’s Your Story?

About two years or so ago, I discovered that I have both a dairy and gluten sensitivity. As a result over the past couple of years I have altered my diet dramatically. Before I knew that I had these food sensitivities I had many sinus infections and repeated visits to the doctor for antibiotics several times a year. I also weighed more and my skin broke out more often…

When I found out I had these sensitivities at first I thought… oh my gosh I’m going to have to become an air fern…. I can’t eat anything!…
because in reality there were several sensitivities. This was going to be a challenge to work around! The allergist told me it would be worth the effort though. He also said that the effects of the sensitivities compounded when I ate many of the problem foods together.

I realized at that point that a basic breakfast could mess me up for days! First you have to know that I was a Starbucks addict. I had already figured out that dairy was a problem and I had that all figured out… or so I thought. I started using soy milk. But when the results of the tests came back they showed that dairy was only half the problem… I was actually sensitive to the coffee itself. I told all my friends to sell their stock in Starbucks… it was going down!

Then I discovered that gluten, eggs, black tea, blueberries, pepper and about 30 other items were problematic for me. My doctor told me to rotate through the list and figure out what I could tolerate and what I couldn’t. By not eating all the items at once I would be in much better shape. The three things that I was the most sensitive to I discontinued immediately: Coffee, dairy, and gluten.

When I took that step within days I felt much better. I quickly went from feeling deprived to feeling great! Who needs coffee?! I felt empowered to create a healthier happier me!  It actually became “fun” to meet the challenge!  The extra weight literally fell off my frame!  A three sinus infection winter is no longer the norm, nor are the constant antibiotics!

Now on occasion I run into others who say to me… “oh yes I have a problem with dairy too but I can’t live without ice cream. I know I shouldn’t eat it…” and there is the problem… “should”!   The bottom line we all make choices. “Shoulds” cause all kinds of problems for us.

If this is your “story” then I invite you to examine that story.  What is your payoff for not honoring your best interests?  Do you eat foods that make you not feel good and then use not feeling good as an excuse to not “show up”  in your life as a healthy empowered individual? Does the extra weight you carry insulate you from moving ahead in your career or being in a physical relationship with your partner? …or are you hiding behind it in some other way?  Reframe your shoulds into choices, it is a more honest authentic way of living.

You choose what you eat.  The first step is being aware of what your options are.  Then you can make an educated decision.   For those that feel that ignorance is bliss… I challenge you to look at what your payoff is… once you see it for what it is, you’ll see that the cost to you is far too great!  You deserve to be healthy and feel your best!

I am so grateful that I know what my food sensitivites are now. I can decide if it is worth the risk to indulge in a chocolate chip cookie from time to time.  Usually I will stick to gluten free of course.  I don’t make exceptions for just any old Chocolate chip cookie… but a Ghirardelli chocolate chip cookie once in a while is another story entirely!

The good news is if I am careful not to overload with too many problem causing foods I can get away with occassional cheating with very little negative consequences.   It’s kind of like I’m having my cake and eating it too… as long as it’s gluten free cake that is!

If you want to stop sabotaging yourself and live a happier, healthier, authentic life, working with a coach who’s been there and done that can lead to lasting success!  My friend and colleague Liz Kearns is now hosting an 8 week group coaching workshop  on Mindful Eating inviting you to “Come out of the shadows”  for more information on this email me at paula@paulakirsch.com.